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But, the much better way to do the deed is to try to use phone and chat alternately. If you try to do the phone sex for four to five times in a week, you may end up doing a routine, which is exactly the best way to ruin a relationship.

If you for sex chat, you actually see your partner and this is great, but your phone has its benefits too.

My housemates and I had finished playing X Factor drinking games and swooning over Matt Cardle when normal Saturday night procedure took us to Echos.

Echos is still to this day the grimiest establishment I have ever been in. The walls, the glass covered floors, the bar, everything just oozed with unidentifiable moisture.

Consequently, men who looked great but had no chat whatsoever were depressingly commonplace.We dug out our shittest shoes reserved especially for trips to Echos and joined the crowds.I was at the bar bidding farewell to the second shiny pound coin of the night when I got chatting to some bloke for about five minutes. Below is a list of dirty pickup lines that will make you want to take a shower after reading them. We hope that you enjoy yourself and the slapstick humor behind 'em.

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